Cooking, Travel and just Other Stuff

You have to understand. I come from a line of very crafty people. My sister paints, one niece can knit anything out of a ball of yarn...oh and she paints and wood carves and makes jewelery. The other niece designs things and then sews them and then my great niece...well we will just call her insanely crafty. They all have blogs where they show all of their wonderful things they do. So, that brings me here. I decided I wanted a blog too, but what to write about. I'm not insanely crafty, can't paint, don't wood carve, tried knitting-didn't work....hummm, what do I do? Well, I like to cook and travel and eat, so I thought maybe we can start there. My blog will be about recipes I've made, places I go and restaurants I eat at with a few other things thrown in along the way. I've also heard that writing is good for you brain, so I figure-as I'm getting older now-this could be a good thing. So anyway, if you find my rantings worth commenting over, I'd love to hear from you. If I post a recipe you like, please let me know, other wise you can keep your opinions to yourself. This, after all, is my blog to make myself feel better, to try and compete with my family, because I don't do anything crafty.

Thursday, December 20, 2012

Christmas will never be the same.....

I heard this today on a television program, "I don't think anyone experiences real loss until they have lost a child." I have wanted to write this blog for a while but just haven't. While this time of year is filled with much joy and happiness,  There is always a loneliness that fills my heart. There is a part of me that is missing.  A part of our family that has a hole. This year, for some reason, the hole has been more acute.

Lindsay-Christmas 1982
 She would have been thirty this year. Her name was Lindsay Joanne Agee and she is my daughter. In 1983 we lost her to cancer. I don't think about her everyday anymore with an aching sadness. Sometime her birthday will go by or the anniversary of her death and I realize I have forgot. I'm not over taken with great sadness anymore at the thought of her death, time really does heal. Most of the time I remember her with very happy memories.  I picture, and find comfort, in her and my Dad walking down a country lane in heaven hand in hand. But this time of year is always hard for me. No matter what happens during the rest of the year, Christmas is a time for all of the family to be together. For all those pieces of the family puzzle to come together to form one big loving puzzle.

This week has been especially difficult. I have thought a lot about four very special women who belong to a "club" that none of us wanted to join, Candee, Sharon B., Sharon T. and Connie. I have prayed for all of you. And I have thought a lot about and prayed for the parents of Newtown. For all of us, the puzzle will never be complete again. At least not in this life.

The upcoming week will bring many joys that will help fill the hole for me. I have been blessed with two of the most beautiful grandchildren who are eagerly awaiting the arrival of Santa. I have a wonderful son and an amazing daughter-in-law that fill my life with joy. I am so blessed they live close. Life is so precious but none of us are guaranteed it's length. I miss Lindsay and without her Christmas will never be the same, but our family puzzle will come together to share the love that is family and I will be so thankful. I pray the same for you.

(Side note: My friend, Connie, who lost her son a few years ago will have her son's photo on the Donate for Life float in the Rose Parade this year. When George died, Connie made the decision to have his organs donated. George's liver recipient, Alfonzo Garcia, will be riding on the float with George's picture and Connie and her daughter, Nicole get to help decorate the float. Love you, Connie)
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3 comments:

  1. Valerie GardnerDecember 20, 2012 at 6:15 PM

    I'm sorry for your loss, Rhonda. I remember when Lindsey passed away. I was pregnant with Nicolas at the time and the name Lindsey was in the running had he been a girl. I always loved that name. I know you must think about who she would have become...who she would have married...and what kind of life she would have had. No one will ever replace your little girl, but someday your family will be whole again. We just have to wait a little while. <3

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  2. CorinneaDecember 20, 2012 at 8:02 PM

    I think about her often.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Joan's Good LifeNovember 22, 2013 at 9:24 AM

    I didn't read this until today. What a beautiful way to share your daughter with us all. Thank you and may God's glory lift you up always.

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